The idea and reality of owning a new pet can be very different. While we might imagine the puppy snuggling up with the family in front of the fire. Don't forget the cleaning up after him, chewing your shoes to death, eating your furniture or tidying his little poops.
The reality of your children owning a smartphone — we think it will be good for our children if they can stay in touch with us and deepen family bonds, but it’s a huge life change and an ongoing responsibility.
The first conversation with your child should happen before you give them the smartphone. This is the ideal opportunity to lay down the law, setting the rules from the off. Go for a start with tough rules. No rules and no oversight from the start means you will almost certainly never be able to control their use in the future.
The agreement must state that the child needs to come to the parent immediately if they encounter any difficulties online. There could also be a commitment on behalf of the parents that if the child experiences a problem online, it will not immediately lead to the loss of the phone. The fear that they will lose access to their phone is the number one reason children do not share their difficult online experiences with their parents.
All #Topics covered for Kids, Tweens & Teens
If your child can fix the Wi-Fi modem or hack into the parental controls may mean they have an impressive set of digital skills but may not mean they are prepared to negotiate sextortion emails that might find their way to their inbox. Digital literacy involves much more than just being able to operate PowerPoint and Excel, it means avoiding being the subject of spam and scams and conducting yourself online properly and in common sense. We need to pay special attention to social media like Snapchat, and TikTok for young kids.
Access to the internet is a privilege, not a right. When your child clearly shows they can conduct themselves safely online, we can give them more freedom. But still, trust and verify. Rules encourage the child to see there are ways in which trust can be earned and lost. It places the responsibility on them and shows the benefits and consequences of abiding by and breaking the rules.
Another side of the coin
Smartphone ownership does not need to be all about “rules”. Parents need to be explicit about the family’s value system with their children. Most expect our children to be respectful, kind, inclusive, and fair — these qualities equally apply to how your child will conduct themselves online. Parents are concerned that their child may be the victim of online abuse or misbehaviour. They give much less thought to the possibility that their child could be the perpetrator.
It is easy to forget our values when communicating online. The “keyboard warrior” within us suggests we say things online that we would not say face-to-face. Children fall prey to this dynamic and engage in cruel or exclusionary behaviour towards others. Primary school kids are capable of the most shocking, vile messaging to others.
Remember, children are not socially or emotionally mature. So these types of exchanges in an unsupervised online space are inevitable. Be very clear about how we expect them to communicate with others and stress there will be zero tolerance for online cruelty. We all make mistakes as we progress through our adolescence, crossing the line and saying something idiotic or that you regret. In the online world;
If you think your child is ready to head online, make them consider:
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You will never regret not following the above recommendations, not once. Parents will always regret being too lenient in allowing kids to roam free in the gaming sphere and online.
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